New Year's Resolutions You Can Keep

[Gray Ghost]

New Year's Resolutions You Can Keep
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1. Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.
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2. Stop exercising. Waste of time.
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3. Read less. Makes you think.
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4. Watch more TV. You've been missing some good stuff.
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5. Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.
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6. Spend your money... the kids really don't need an inheritance and haven't you given them enough already?
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7. Use more time at work to surf the internet.
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8. Take a vacation to someplace important: like, to see the world's largest ball of twine.
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9. Don't jump off a cliff just because everyone else did.
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10. Stop bringing lunch from home: Eat out more.
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11. Don't have eight children at once.
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12. Get in a whole NEW rut!
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13. Start being superstitious.
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14. Personal goal: bring back disco.
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15. Running may indeed be a healthy activity. Make it a point to run when you have to get up and find the T.V. Remote.
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16. Stop using big words (4 syllables or more) in conversation.
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17. Don't bother to wallow in self-criticism... contract it out to your spouse or sibling.
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18. Only wear jeans that are 2 sizes too small and use a chain or rope for a belt.

[Dude]

very funny GG,

I like this one best....

7. Use more time at work to surf the internet. :lol2:

I had a couple of assembly line jobs, where you had to stay at your station during your whole shift, but they would let you take a break to go to the bathroom, so I would always try and wait to go to the bathroom until I was at work….

So I would get paid for going to the bathroom, instead of going on my own time for free. :D

[Badmojo]

I think I already do some of these now!