Gray Ghost
10-02-2006, 10:37 AM
You may be a redneck if:
1. You think Sherlock Holmes is a housing project down in Biloxi.
2. You think a stock tip is advice on worming' your hogs.
3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4. You think TACO BELL is the Mexican Phone Company
5. Your state's got a new law that says when a couple get divorced, they are still legally brother and sister
6. Your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign on the back.
7. You got stopped by a state trooper. He asked you if you had an I.D.
And you said, 'Bout What?'
8. You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.
9. Your sister is the third generation of women in your family to conceive
a baby as a result of an alien abduction.
10. If you can burp and say your name at the same time, you're shur'nuff a redneck.
11. You think Possum is "The Other White Meat"
12. You hooked up with your present girlfriend as a result of a message on the wall of the mens' room at the Flying J Truck Stop.
13. The centerpiece on your dining room table is an original signed work
by a famous taxidermist.
14. You think a quarter horse is a ride out in front of the Wal-Mart.
15. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off it's wheels.
16. Your huntin dawg had a litter of puppies in the living room and nobody noticed.
17. You think there's nothin wrong with incest as long as you keep it in the family.
18. You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines."
19. You were acquitted for murdering your first wife after she threw
out your Elvis 8-tracks.
20. Your grandfather died and left everything to his widow. But she can't touch it until she's fourteen.
21. The people on Jerry Springer's show remind you of your neighbors
22. You've ever had to scratch your sisters name out of a message that begins, "For a good time time call..."
23. You have a bumper sticker that says, "MY MOTHER'S AN HONOR STUDENT
AT SOUTH LITTLE ROCK JR. HIGH."
24. Your family tree has no forks.
25. You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
26. The third grade teacher says little Bubba could be a mathematical genius
because he's got thirteen fingers.
27. Fifth grade was the best six years of your life.
28. Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade.
29. Down where you come from reruns of Hee Haw are called documentaries.
30. You think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just "misunderstood".
31. You've ever climbed a water tower with a bucket of paint to defend your sister's honor.
32. Your aunt and your grandmother went to the funeral and had a fight over who gets to be the widow.
33. Your entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the Governor to spare a loved one.
34. You use a NASCAR credit card.
35. Anyone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, y'all watch this!".
36. You couldn't learn to swim because your gene pool is too small.
37. Your school fight song is"Dueling Banjos"
38. They just raised the drinking age in your state to 32 on account of they wanted to keep alcohol out of the schools.
39. You go to your family reunion looking for a date.
40. The KKK kicked you out for being a bigot.
41. Your dog can't watch you eat without getting sick.
42. The directions to your house include "turn off the paved road".
43. Your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.
44. Your mother has been involved in a fistfight at a high school sports event.
45. You honestly think that women are turned on by animal noises and seductive tongue gestures.
1. You think Sherlock Holmes is a housing project down in Biloxi.
2. You think a stock tip is advice on worming' your hogs.
3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4. You think TACO BELL is the Mexican Phone Company
5. Your state's got a new law that says when a couple get divorced, they are still legally brother and sister
6. Your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign on the back.
7. You got stopped by a state trooper. He asked you if you had an I.D.
And you said, 'Bout What?'
8. You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.
9. Your sister is the third generation of women in your family to conceive
a baby as a result of an alien abduction.
10. If you can burp and say your name at the same time, you're shur'nuff a redneck.
11. You think Possum is "The Other White Meat"
12. You hooked up with your present girlfriend as a result of a message on the wall of the mens' room at the Flying J Truck Stop.
13. The centerpiece on your dining room table is an original signed work
by a famous taxidermist.
14. You think a quarter horse is a ride out in front of the Wal-Mart.
15. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off it's wheels.
16. Your huntin dawg had a litter of puppies in the living room and nobody noticed.
17. You think there's nothin wrong with incest as long as you keep it in the family.
18. You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines."
19. You were acquitted for murdering your first wife after she threw
out your Elvis 8-tracks.
20. Your grandfather died and left everything to his widow. But she can't touch it until she's fourteen.
21. The people on Jerry Springer's show remind you of your neighbors
22. You've ever had to scratch your sisters name out of a message that begins, "For a good time time call..."
23. You have a bumper sticker that says, "MY MOTHER'S AN HONOR STUDENT
AT SOUTH LITTLE ROCK JR. HIGH."
24. Your family tree has no forks.
25. You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
26. The third grade teacher says little Bubba could be a mathematical genius
because he's got thirteen fingers.
27. Fifth grade was the best six years of your life.
28. Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade.
29. Down where you come from reruns of Hee Haw are called documentaries.
30. You think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just "misunderstood".
31. You've ever climbed a water tower with a bucket of paint to defend your sister's honor.
32. Your aunt and your grandmother went to the funeral and had a fight over who gets to be the widow.
33. Your entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the Governor to spare a loved one.
34. You use a NASCAR credit card.
35. Anyone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, y'all watch this!".
36. You couldn't learn to swim because your gene pool is too small.
37. Your school fight song is"Dueling Banjos"
38. They just raised the drinking age in your state to 32 on account of they wanted to keep alcohol out of the schools.
39. You go to your family reunion looking for a date.
40. The KKK kicked you out for being a bigot.
41. Your dog can't watch you eat without getting sick.
42. The directions to your house include "turn off the paved road".
43. Your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.
44. Your mother has been involved in a fistfight at a high school sports event.
45. You honestly think that women are turned on by animal noises and seductive tongue gestures.