After trying many things, I found out that the reason the site was down was because of the shoutbox,
I was finally able to get access to the control panel after a lot of attempts, and shut it off.
I will try some experiments and see if I can figure out exactly what the problem with the shoutbox is and if I can fix it or not?
so the site should be mostly working unless I start the shoutbox up again and then can't get it turned back off for a while.